Counselling for an Existential Crisis

Has something happened that turned your world upside down?

Sometimes, we joke about “having an existential crisis”. But what does that actually mean?

An existential crisis is any event that destabilises our beliefs about the world, causing confusion, stress, and anxiety. It can happen as a result of losing a loved one, contracting a serious illness, or struggling with religious issues (for example, losing faith or feeling conflicted between your religion and your sexual orientation or gender identity.

This can be an incredibly lonely and painful experience. But you don’t have to go through it alone.

What is existential therapy?

Rather than involving any specific techniques, existential therapy can be thought of as any therapy that explores and engages with existential themes.

A brief introduction to existential therapy

In his book Existential Therapy (1980), Yalom wrote about the four “givens” of existence (also referred to “ultimate concerns”). These are things that all human beings must confront over their lifetimes. These four “givens” are:

  • Death. All living beings must some day die; death is an inescapable condition of being alive. Yet many people fear death and refuse to talk about or acknowledge it, while others are preoccupied with death to the point that it affects daily living. What can help us make peace with death and reconcile ourselves to its inevitability?

  • Freedom and responsibility. We tend to view “freedom” as something positive, yet the experience of freedom can also be terrifying, as it means that we are responsible for all of our actions.

  • Isolation. We can experience isolation within ourselves (for example, not knowing who you are) as well as isolation from other people. By nature, human beings crave community and belonging, yet we also have to face the fact that ultimately, each of us is alone.

  • Meaning and meaninglessness. We all have to contend with the question, why are we alive? What is the purpose of our existence? Religion provides one answer to this question, but without religion, what can provide the moral structure of our universe?

What can existential therapy help with?

  • The end of a relationship or marriage

  • Illness

  • Grief and loss

  • Lack of direction

  • Loneliness

  • Considering whether to start a family

  • Struggling with faith (loss of belief, loss of community, etc.)

  • Stress

  • Anxiety

  • Trauma

  • Depression 

  • Figuring out who you are

  • Career transitions or retirement

  • Addiction

What happens in existential therapy?

  • Sharing an safe, empathetic, non-judgemental space

  • Coming to terms with grief and loss 

  • (Re)connecting with self and others

  • Embracing ambiguity, not-knowing, and existential anxiety as part of life

  • Taking responsibility for one’s choices 

  • Exploring values 

    • To what extent am I living in accordance with my values?

    • Are there things I’m doing that go against my values? What do I want to stop doing?

    • What am I doing that is aligned with my values? What do I want to do more of?

  • NOT providing answers

  • NOT discussing philosophy (unless you want to)

Answering the call to live with authenticity

Existential therapy can help you consider the big questions of life, gain clarity about your values and how you want to live, and recover from an existential crisis with a renewed sense of meaning, purpose, and capacity to engage with all of life’s challenges. If you’re feeling lost on your journey through life, please reach out. I’d love to hear your story.